In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize