We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
