Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
