Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
