Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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