it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
