But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
no you cant smoke seaweed
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
