So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
