well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
