cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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