went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
