we're chasing vodka with high fives
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize