i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
