I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
