Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
