As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
