As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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