I just cut my nipple shaving
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He passed out mid-signature
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
