Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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