Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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