And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
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