Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
