I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize