OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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