yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
