Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
