the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
