Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
