You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
