She's JV to your varsity
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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