dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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