Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
