my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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