how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
