sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
