i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
