READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
