So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
