If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Sorry about my life...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
