you guys were way drunker than both of me
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
