I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
