He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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