they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
