hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize