My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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