What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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