Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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