I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
