So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
