Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
