Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
