i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Send help, water and tortillas.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
