If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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