It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize