You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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