New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
