I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so let's talk penis.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
