I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
