I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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