were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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