She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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