Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
