My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
