the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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