why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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