If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
