Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
